Advent Conspiracy: Foolishness gone to seed.

2010-11-29T06:45:00.000-08:00

You've taken the call of Advent Conspiracy seriously: No more crass consumerism this Christmas. You're going to make gifts as suggested, pledge time instead of money to your friends and relatives and what money you do spend, you're going to give to charity.

Congratulations. You've just driven tens of millions of people to poverty and despair. And you feel good about it. If you think the recent rise in unemployment to 9.8% was disheartening, go ahead with your plans...and watch unemployment make the Great Depression look like a moment of mild dismay.

This harsh assessment of Advent Conspiracy comes as a shock to proponents of this seemingly noble venture, but no less true.

Like so many other fads in Christendom, the Faithful follow this call as blindly as those who send their egg and milk money to ransom the preacher threatened by death from God if the millions demanded are not raised.

The similarity between these two groups of Christians is comical if not tragic: Both give willingly in the naive belief they are doing the greatest good with the noblest of intentions. Without the slightest reflection, they reach for their wallets and pour out their good intentions...to the despair of God.

Let us follow the tragedy of Advent Conspiracy down a single line of the economy: The Transportation industry.

The newly conscientious (and clearly naive) Advent Conspiracy Christian consumer declines to buy the goods and services of retailers for Christmas. The retailer lays off the store clerks because sales are down. The trucking industry lays off their drivers because goods are not needed for shipping. The gas station no longer sells diesel to the truck driver. Road taxes are not paid to the government because no diesel is sold. Potholed roads emerge from neglect because the government hasn't the money to pay road workers to fix them. Truck mechanics shut down because no one drives trucks anymore. Tool salesman can no longer sell tools to mechanics because no one needs them. Tire companies layoff thousands of workers because no one is buying tires for trucks anymore. Automotive manufacturers quit building trucks because no one needs new ones. Millions lose their jobs and go on unemployment rolls.

The tendrils of the Advent Conspiracy effects weave their way through our lives like the spidery thread of a tumor which weaves it's way through our bodies, killing us all in the end.

This is only a tiny segment of the transportation economy we examined - we haven't even touched rail shipping or oceanic transport. The tragedy of the Advent Conspiracy grows exponentially not only throughout the US economy, but the world.

There is an old adage about unintended consequences, but how many people are thoughtful enough to consider this piece of wisdom? I expect easily swayed children to be moved by the slick marketing Advent Conspiracy has assembled, but surely grown adults with even a smattering of economic education can clearly see the impending disaster that awaits full adoption of the Conspiracy. Or am I simply too hopeful?

Here is the Truth: Consumerism is not evil. Gluttony is.

Unfortunately, the Advent Conspiracy, in a monumental triumph of false logic, has equated Consumerism with Gluttony. Horse feathers. Consumerism is marketing to convince you to part with your money because you absolutely have to buy elbow deodorant lest you offend the teeming masses and lose self esteem. A company produces a product and tries to convince you to buy it. That's all Consumerism is and it is neither evil nor immoral. If you are stupid enough to be deceived by marketing and buy elbow deodorant, then perhaps you should be separated from your money.

Here is another Truth: It's fine to own things as long as things don't own you.

In fact, it's fine to own lots of things you don't necessarily need. I don't necessarily need to own an espresso machine and a coffee maker, but I like them both because sometimes I want a caramel macchiato and sometimes I just want hazelnut coffee. I don't necessarily need to make as much money as I do in order to survive, but who wants to just survive? If I work hard and apply myself, why shouldn't I be able to earn more than enough money? I like the idea that I can go out and buy another TV for the upstairs guest room so my grandchildren can watch their DVDs whilst sipping hot chocolate and I do not have to be concerned about breaking my budget because I do make more than enough money.

If Christians took just a few minutes and thought through these issues, we could all avoid the eventual dysfunction the Church so often experiences.

Let us examine the Advent Conspiracy claim we could solve the worlds supply of fresh water for Third World Countries with $10 billion. In their Pollyanna view, if we all just give money for fresh water wells, people will no longer die from cholera!

When pigs fly.

The problem isn't money. It never has been. The problem is corrupt governments, tribal wars and a lack of freedom. Eliminate these three and people everywhere could thrive.

If you really want to solve the problems of the world, something even secularists could participate in, then help spread Capitalism. Capitalism begets industry and God blesses industrious people. Watch people thrive as they enjoy the fruits of their labor.

How, might you ask? Give to organizations that provide micro loans to those starting up businesses in Third World countries. It's an amazingly simple formula. No commentary by Christian mystics is necessary. No deep thoughts needed. No special prayers from Church Fathers. Just help people be industrious. In other words, be the Tea Party of Christendom. A bottom up effort to help people, not lead by renown Church Elders. Just everyday Christians taking charge. It doesn't require you give mountains of money. You'll still have enough to buy little Johnny the shiny kewl skateboard he wants, your wife the new diamond earrings and the lawn guy a gift card from Lowes. And your neighbor gets to keep his job, too.

If one had to summarize it's this: If a man knows how to fish, let's lend him the money buy a boat and start a fishing business. Let the naifs simply hand over a trout.

Oh yeah...don't forget to buy and ship my present in time for a Christmas Eve delivery. Need my address?

I'm back!

2007-09-13T13:53:00.000-07:00

After having my blog hijacked by some scumbot, I've got it back. . .

rants

Advent Conspiracy: Foolishness gone to seed.

I'm back!